The history of my hate of Valentines Day probably started in middle school. Let's be honest. I think all of our deepest, strongest irrational feelings probably started there. What a terrible time of life. The smells. The insecurities. The awkwardness.
Being the good little Mormon girl that I was, of course I didn't have a boyfriend. Although this had less to do with my faith and more to do with the fact that there were no boys interested in me. I remember watching Saved by the Bell in my early years. Every girl watching in the early 90's wanted to be Kelly. I mean what girl wouldn't dream of having Zach and AC fighting over her? Amazing. But here's the crazy thing. I was even jealous of Lisa. Sure, it was Screech. But the idea of having a boy madly in love with me, what a dream.
I remember watching girls around me in middle school with such jealousy. Roses, teddy bears, balloon, chocolates, the works. I was so incredibly jealous. If there was a girl version of the Christmas Story ever made, I think every pre-teen girls' number one fantasy would be a dozen roses delivered to her homeroom.
Even as I am writing this I am dreaming of sending all my girl students roses. From a secret admirer. Wouldn't that be the best?
But anyway, back to Valentines Day. By the time I got to high school I tried to make it a happy day. I remember making sugar cookies and spending all Valentines night driving them around to all the town.
There's been a lot of drama in the years of Valentines since then. Lots of drama. And sometimes it's fun to look back at that drama. I had a conversation with a parent last night at Parent Teacher Conference. She explained that she feels that often times we go through hard things to learn empathy for others. And I'll tell you what, every Valentines I feel for every girl in my class that I know is dreaming of having the door open and a dozen roses delivered on her desk.
But now I can't believe how lucky I am. The love I feel every day in my little family is way better than any romantic gesture on February 14th. And as I think back to my 13 year old self, I don't think I ever thought that would be possible.
*Update - I obviously couldn't give every girl in all my classes roses, so I just gave them to my 15 yearbook staff. :)