Friday, January 22, 2016

What I've Learned in 2 weeks of being a Mom.

I thought I was prepared.  I had listened and taken note from all my family and close friends.  I knew my postpartum recovery was going to be a nightmare..... fluid flowing from every hole imaginable.  I knew I was going to get very little sleep - although it's true I didn't understand when a mom says the baby eats every 2 hours all night long that means after nursing, burping, and changing the mom sleeps 30 minutes every 2 hours.  I knew I was going to experience new emotions with intensity I had never previously experienced.  I knew I would look down at this child that we created and think he is the most perfect, best baby that has ever existed.  I knew this baby was going to change my life forever.

I knew all this.

What I didn't know?  What I've learned with such intensity I cry just thinking about it?  How grateful I am for a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers prayers.  In the past 15 days I have spent more time on my knees praying and asking for blessings than I ever have before.  As soon as I got the call from the nurse that my liver was malfunctioning and possibly killing my baby so I needed to be induced immediately, I turned to the only place I knew I could receive comfort - a priesthood blessing.  And again last night when Bradley's fever was hovering around the temperature you take all new borns to the emergency room, all I wanted for him was a priesthood blessing.

I knew this little newborn would change my life forever.  I did.  What I didn't know and what I am learning very quickly is how vulnerable this baby makes me.  I never knew it was possible to love something so much.  This vulnerability has humbled me and brought me closer to God than I ever expected.  No one prepared me for this.  That every day and night for the rest of our lives Jason and I will be praying more fervently.  Not for ourselves and our personal desires, but for his'.  I knew I loved Jason before this experience, I knew he was a wonderful man.  But every time I watch him pick up his little boy and watch him look at our baby I feel more love for Jason.

In just two weeks of being a mom I feel like I understand God's plan even more clearly.  I understand the need for families.  I understand the need for feeling this kind of vulnerability.  I understand the comfort of eternal families in a new way.  In two short weeks I am more grateful for God's master plan and feel incredibly blessed for the piece of heaven He chose to send to me.


2 comments:

Hillary Newton said...

You are a beautiful mother, Kristin! Congratulations on forming such a beautiful little family. I hope both of you continue to be healthier! Love, hillmill

Aaron and Camile said...

Seeing Aaron with our newborns really does make me fall in love with him more. Love this post! All so true.