Thursday, September 24, 2015

Band Wagoner.

It's true.  With most everything in life I am a band wagoner.  I am not the person you consult if you want to know the latest and hippest things.  I never start watching tv shows from the premiere.  I never discover cool new music.  I am just not one of those people.

So when Mindy Kaling started to get big I was so confused.  I barely tolerated her on The Office (because of course the only reason I like The Office was because of the love story between Jim and Pam)  So Mindy was just a lame distraction.  So I was so confused when it seemed like over night she blew up.  She was one of the most famous people in Hollywood...... so famous she got her own show named after her??????

Like I said, I was so confused.

And then in desperation to find a new cleanish show on TV, Jason and I started watching her show on Hulu.  And then I was commuting hours everyday to Disneyland so I bought her book on Audible.  And now as I am listening to her new book, "Why Not Me" as I commute every day I can not hid it. I am absolutely obsessed with this girl.  I love her.  And just like every other white 30 something year old educated girl in America, I want her to be my best friend.

It's a bit puzzling why I feel so connected to this second generation liberal Ivy league educated Indian.  We have nothing in common.  Well besides our shared love for McDonalds.

After a lot of self reflection I feel the need to write down why I love Mindy.

1.  She beat the odds.  She is not 5'9, 115 pounds, with an unrealistic boob job.  That alone is enough evidence to prove she beat all odds in Hollywood.  And the crazy part is she is doing nothing to move closer to the typical body figure of a Hollywood actress.  She seems so much just like "us".  (The collective group of normal working class of Americans who are night and day different from the celebrities we associate with being famous)

2. She is really smart.  As a nobody she got into and attended Dartmouth.  It's one thing for a famous actress to attend an Ivy league school.  It's something completely different for a nobody to get in. But along with being smart, she is funny smart.  I have the hardest time with most comedies.  I don't like stupid funny.  I don't think it's funny.  I like to pretend it's because it's "below" me....but maybe I just don't think a lot of things are funny.  Mindy is a smart funny.  It reminds me a lot of Seth Cohen humor.  It's a quick, subtle, almost easily looked over humor that is hilarious.  Often times Jason and I have to push pause after she says a hilarious statement so we can get a good laugh in and not miss anything else.

3. She believes in hard work.  She works her tail off.  Here is a quote from her book that I love, "If you believe in yourself and work hard, your dreams will come true.  Well... I guess the people who work hard whose dreams don't come true don't get to write books about it, so we never really find out what happens to them.  So.. if you believe in yourself and work hard, you have a fighting shot of having your dreams come true."

4. She is real.

This is probably what I love about Mindy the most.  She says it like it is.  She said how sad she was when she didn't get nominated for an Emmy.  She talks about how she likes kissing on set.  She talks about how she hates going to weddings but does it because she realizes its her only way to be with her old friends.  But my favorite thing that she is pretty real about is her relationship with B.J. Novak.  I love how really she probably is in love with him and always will be.  But they aren't together.  I love it.  I love how real it is.  Here's a perfect example of how real she is,

"I've always put a lot of energy and effort into people liking me.  That's why I've never understood the compliment "effortless."  People love to say: "She just walked into the party, charming people with her effortless beauty."  I don't understand that at all.  What's so wrong with effort, anyway?  It means you care.  What about the girl who "walked into the party, her determination to please apparent on her eager face?"  Sure, she might seem a little crazy, and yes, maybe everything she says sounds like conversation starters she found on a website, but at least she is trying.  Let's give her a shot!"

Bottom line is: I love her.

Yes I have jumped on the Mindy Kaling Band Wagon and I sure hope it doesn't end any time soon.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Working out While Pregnant.

I'm really not one to compare myself to others....  Probably because I had to stop when all my friends were living out my dream of life getting married, having a kid, then two, then 7 and I was still stuck in Never Never Land.  I had to learn the hard way that comparison is silly.  I often think of the stupid Sunscreen song when it says, "Don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, the race is long.  And in the end, it's only with yourself."

And then I got pregnant.

I don't know why I keep having the desire to compare myself to other pregnant women or other women when they were pregnant.  Especially when it comes to working out.  I know it's stupid.  I know the most important thing is a healthy baby.  But still....

I have kept my habit of working out 6 days a week since getting pregnant but man it's sucked.  Before I was pregnant I could easily run 10 miles any day or be at the top of any workout class I attended and then I got pregnant.  I have slowly but surely watched my muscle strength and cardio vascular strength go down the toilet.  Like after doing a slow 2 mile warm up I tried to run a mile with my PE students......... I had to stop half way through.

And then I hear some story of a woman who ran a marathon the day before she gave birth.  Or when I was belaying Jason at a rock climb the other day a guy asked why I wasn't climbing.  I said the climb was too hard now that I'm pregnant.  He said, "My daughter rock climbed until she was 8 months."  I wanted to punch him.

But the absolute worst, I attend classes at the gym with a girl that is 4 months ahead of me. 6 AM classes.... I should get a pat on the back for just getting up at 5 AM right?  I should get a medal for working out then going and teaching early morning PE, then teaching a full load of classes.... But no, I can't stop myself from comparing myself to this girl.   She is 40 weeks.  In other words she is probably having her baby as we speak.  She was at the gym up until yesterday.  And every single day she was working harder than me.  Way harder. And she looks fantastic.  Like not a single ounce of fat on her body.  Just a cute little basketball in her shirt.

But such is life, right?

I know I am silly.  I know there are so many harder problems in the world, even my world, but this working out while pregnant thing is a hard thing for me to cope with.  I guess that's my problem.  You see, there are a lot of things in life you can't control.  But for me, working out has always been my own little world of heaven.  (Or Hell based off of how hard I push that day)  But it was mine.  And like I hear over and over and over again from anyone and everyone with children.  My life isn't my own anymore.  And I guess working out is the first of the many realms of life that I will learn this.

So on a beautiful fall Saturday morning when I normally can't wait to lounge around half the morning then finally get around to running for a couple of hours or biking through the beautiful fall scenery... I can't do that anymore.  So this Saturday instead I went and hiked Timp Cave while listening to Mindy Kaling's new book, "Why Not Me."

 But my weird love for Mindy is a whole 'nother post in the making.

So I'll end with some pictures.  Two of my beautiful fall hike up American Fork Canyon to Timp Cave and for those that are curious...... what my pregnancy belly looks like at 23 weeks.






Thursday, September 10, 2015

Pregnant.

So I wrote this post 14 weeks ago.....


Yep, I am pregnant.  I've known for about 7 weeks now.  And I am thrilled out of my mind.  It's true.  But it's been the weirdest thing.  The more people I tell, the more I regret telling anyone.  Don't get me wrong.  People are absolutely thrilled for me.  They know how long this road I have traveled has been and how much I have wanted this day to come.

But what absolutely blows my mind is how much I hate talking about it.  All of it.  Any of it.

Unlike dating and then the wedding, where all I wanted to talk to anyone and everyone about was every single detail, me - a normally very open and vocal person - wants to hide in a hole and pretend like this pregnancy doesn't exist for another  6 months.  Why?

Well let me elaborate.

When someone hears you are pregnant they want to talk about it.  That doesn't sound so bad right?

But the problem is..... one of two things happen when they want to talk about it.  They either want to ask me questions  or they want to talk about their own experiences with pregnancy.  I know, I know that doesn't sound that bad.  And maybe I am just an emotional irrational pregnant woman but it seems like every conversation with almost anyone about my pregnancy ends with me trying my hardest to bite my tongue (even though many times I don't bite hard enough and I snap).

Some examples of reasons why I hate talking about my pregnancy.

1. The statement "Just you wait"................  honestly, I don't think there is a more demeaning thing you can say to a person in any stage of life.  What "just you wait" is saying to a person is, "I am so much wiser and experienced than you and so I can clearly state that you lack any experience to understand anything that is going to happen to you in the future." And whether that is true or not really doesn't matter, stating such a thing to a person is just down right degrading.

2. How are you feeling?

Sounds like a simple question right?  But it's not.  There is no right answer.  If I say I feel fine then I get a whole spill of how of course I do I haven't hit week (insert any week but the week I am in).

If I tell the truth and explain I feel lousy then I hear something to the effect of "just you wait" OR I hear a whole spill on how there is no possible way that I could possibly feel as lousy as someone else did.  Which inevitably leads into some horror story about a pregnancy or a labor and delivery that went bad.  Why is it that every woman wants to talk about stories of delivery??? Why????

Either way I can't win.

But the most sensitive and horrible thing that inevitably comes up in every conversation about being pregnant is:

3. What will you do about work after you have your baby?

My answer, "I will keep teaching until Jason finishes dental school."

But sadly it can't stop there. From that point I either get a whole slew of questions about day care/baby sitters/how I'm going to handle dumping my newborn off with some strangers/ or other unsettling questions. 

Or I get scolded for not staying home. 

Or I get a "good for you. I know so and so and she wanted to keep working through all 12 of her kids"  Like. I. Have. A. Choice. 

But either way. Anyway. I can't win. 

I walk away from every conversation wishing more than anything that I hadn't told that person about the pregnancy. 

So luckily I have one thing going for me. 

I am 5'9 and not the smallest build. So my solution to this whole situation??!!! I am going to wait until it looks like I have a freaking pumpkin hidden in my shirt to tell anyone that I'm having a baby. Not because I'm upset about it. Because I'm not. I've never been more excited for anything in my entire life. But because this sensitive prego girl needs her privacy.