Monday, June 22, 2015

Prayer

I've been thinking about prayer all weekend.  For over two years Jason and I have been praying for some specific things.  And despite the frustration and confusion of set backs, two of our major prayers have been answered.  The joy and gratitude that comes at those moments are huge.  The love that is felt is overwhelming.

But then last week, all week, I just kept praying for someone going through something.  I really try to be careful about how I pray for things.  Maybe it is because of my past experiences or maybe its because of my lack of faith but rarely do I beg for something.  I try to ask for comfort.  I ask for peace.  I ask for the knowledge and perspective to overcome.

But last week I begged.

And the results came back, and my prayers weren't answered.

It's a wonderful thing how age and experience can drastically change a reaction.  Of course I have cried.  Of course I have been mad.  Of course I want to scream out that life is not fair.

But this time unlike times of the past, I was able to see the good.  When the bad news was given, there is still hope.

And this is why prayer is so valuable to me.  Why I am so grateful for a belief in communicating with a loving Father.  Because sometimes, even when we beg, we don't get what we want.  Whether it is ourselves or people we love dearly, people have to go through hard things.  But the good news of the Gospel can always bring us hope.  And right now, I am so grateful for that.




Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Hypocrite

I felt like a bit of a hypocrite yesterday.  I nagged a friend that she hasn't been blogging like usual....  and then I realized, really neither have I.

It's not that there isn't anything going on in my life to write about.... just a lot of stuff I shouldn't write about.  How annoying right?

So I just went through all my pictures that I've taken in California since I got here....I've had lots of fun....

Starting with my interview at Disneyland.
 For the record I am not in the Disney look with my interview outfit.  Skinny dress pants and open toed shoes are not allowed.  But luckily they still hired me.  And the second picture is the sneaky picture I took while I was waiting for my interview.

What is my job you ask??????  After throwing out a few options I chose to be a cashier at a food cart in Disneyland.  (Phew, can you imagine if I actually had to work at California Adventure, ew.) (Kinda kidding.....)

So I will be a cashier at a cart.  What that exactly means, I don't know it.  My number one cart I hope to work at is the coffee cart next to the castle.  (Working opening to noon would be the dream to me.)

But I'd also be happy selling ice cream, drinks, or of course churros.


The one cart I would prefer not to work......... the Turkey Legs.  I am sure they are delicious.  I mean everything at Disneyland is......but handing out Turkey Legs all day? 


Other highlights of my summer so far.... our family walk down to Donut Man on donut day....... fun but.....
The line was pretty insane!  And Donut Man was almost completely sold out of donuts.  Luckily for us, our favorites, tiger tails, were coming out of the frier right as we ordered.  Nothing like a hot donut!  (Sadly no donuts pictured.  Ate them too quickly.)
Working out away from my beloved gym and gym buddies is quite difficult for me.  But luckily I recorded 12 weeks of my favorite instructor so this is what my gym now looks like.

OH unless I decide to ride my bike to the beach which I have done twice now.  Sadly June Gloom has hit southern California and it has yet to be sunny at the beach.........
Yesterday I convinced my sweet cousin and her boyfriend to come to the beach with me. We went to a beach I hadn't been to before down in San Diego county.  It was a wonderful day with great conversation.  Also don't be deceived by the clouds.......... I still got a nice little sunburn.  



Thursday, June 4, 2015

Soul Mates

Something that I absolutely love about life is.... there are unlimited soul mates you can have in life.  I've already talked about how I view my friendship with Brittney as a HUGE tender mercy in my life but I needed to say just one more time how lucky I am to have her in my life.  Also, Marja.  She works with Brittney at my school.  She is suck a sweetheart and I absolutely love her as well.  Anyway, the other morning Brittney sent me this.  Even Facebook recognizes we are soulmates.

To celebrate our freedom from school the 3 of us went up to the Cheesecake Factory for dinner.  I just love them both so much it's ridiculous.  We spent over 2.5 hours just sitting and talking.......
then after dinner we sat in front of Marja's yard for another hour talking........ then Brittney and I sat in the car and talked until WAY beyond my bedtime.  I just love them.  The next day Brittney invited me to have dinner with her amazing family.  They are the coolest, happiest, loving people around.  I felt so lucky to be a part of their family dinner for one night.
Ok, now for reals, the next post will be about my adventures in California.

My Favorite Trail Run

It was like Provo wanted to make me sad that I was leaving for the summer.  Having lived in Provo area for almost 10 years, never before has there been as beautiful of a spring as right now.  So I figured I should document every bit of my 11 mile trail run in the foothills of Provo Canyon.

Even the drive to the start of the run was beautiful.



I had just got my first pair of trail running shoes so I had to make sure to get pictures of the shoes on the trail!



Oh the wild flowers........ they were everywhere!  The second part of my run was rich with the smell of Wild Roses...... it was unreal.


It really was like every turn was another beautiful view..........

 Out of no where a bird pooped on me!


 Just more picture perfect views........ and my favorite drinking fountain of all time.

Oh Provo..... I can't believe I am going to admit it, but I am going to miss you this summer.

Now I'm off to the nasty drought ridden California........... Wish me luck!

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Oh the Roller Coaster.... Yearbook Day 2015

Well I will say that yearbook day is probably the most rewarding day of the entire year.

Of course this will be like every other yearbook post I've written... year after year.  But it's important for me to remember so here we go.

The loneliness birds came on Tuesday.  The last real day of class.  I had already given my last final heart to heart about Being a Hero - begging them to find ways to change the world.  I had given them what was left of my heart and soul.  I felt like an empty bucket.  Used, worn out, just done.

Wednesday was Lagoon day.  It's a wonderful day of spending time with my favorite teachers.  We laugh and cry together as we celebrated another notch in the belt.

Thursday was Yearbook Day came.  I dragged myself to school. Luckily I didn't have a first period so I cleaned, I packed, and then I prepared myself for another long day of loneliness birds.

And then my students walked in.

It wasn't immediate.  It wasn't like a flood.  It started with a little trickle but by the end of the day I was being pounded down with so much love and gratitude that I could hardly breath.  I haven't cried in years at the ending of the year.... I thought I was over that feeling.  But at the end of the day when student after student walked up and asked, "Mrs. B, can I have a hug?"  The tears just flowed.

(For the record, in my foggy recollection I don't think I have ever hugged a current student in my 10 years of teaching)

The gifts.  The cards.  The kind words.  And the 200 thoughtful messages in my yearbook were so overwhelming it was surreal.

But I guess I feel it's important to express why I wasn't expecting this.  This year I was the meanest, toughest, and strictest teacher I have ever been.  I expected more from my students than ever before.  It took longer for me to love them.  I didn't open up to them as much as I usually do.  I was much much much more business than ever before as a teacher.

It wasn't until half way through the day that someone showed me.  This year for the first time since I've taught at my school, they polled the students........ and here was the results!

I couldn't believe it!  It was so so so sweet.

Reading through that yearbook is hands down the most humbling, sweetest thing I experience as a teacher.  Over and over and over again I hear, "You are the best teacher I've ever had." and "Thank you."  but the thing that makes me the happiest is, "Your class is the reason that I came to school."

But hands down the most memorable was from a girl that like she said, "we had some rough patches" but man oh man to hear her call me the queen and a great teacher!!! I can die happy!

Another fun one has to do with a random paper that I cut out of some magazine somewhere that looks like this:
One of the sweetest letters I received referenced this random piece of paper I had pinned to the wall behind my desk. She said she'd created me a new sign. So now my wall looks like this:


Class of 2018, I sure love you.