Well it's Thanksgiving morning.... it's 5 am.... and no one is stirring not even a mouse..... except me. Of course I am bright eyed and bushy tailed. Someday I hope to get my body on a different schedule, but until I finish teaching I don't foresee that happening.
So instead I'll focus on the things that I am so unbelievably grateful for.
The other day I watched possibly the cheesiest Christmas movie of all time. I should have known better when Netflix told me I would give it a one and a half stars. But anyway, I pushed through and watched it all.
It was about some girl who was going back to her hometown to a Christmas high school reunion. Of course all she wanted was to get back together with her high school boyfriend. Like I said, unbelievably cheesy.
Whether it was that stupid movie or it's the smell of the girls locker room every morning when I go in,... the faint smell always reminds me of Cedar High.
But I have been thinking of high school. The goods and the bads. The great fun memories. But most of all, what I would tell myself if I could - just for 2 minutes - run into me when I was 17 years old. If I could somehow get a message back to that girl, all I would say is,
"Your life at 32 is happier and more wonderful than you can even possibly imagine right now."
Of course the road of life is long with inevitable bumps and turns. But this time in my life, this last 4 months have been the happiest time ever.
And to think we are going to go and throw a wrench in it and have a baby. What in the world are we thinking???? :)
But alas, since this is more of a journal than anything profound or exciting, I'd better write down exactly what I am grateful for.
1. My body. I know almost 50% of the population has experience what I am going through but still.... this experience of actually making a human being in my belly. Kinda crazy. I must admit, it has sucked way more than I anticipated. The ligament pains and pelvic pressure on one end, the acid reflex on the other and the almost passing out with 2 flights of stairs......... but I am so grateful for the fact that eventually the baby will leave my belly. I can then go back to sleeping on my stomach! And I know that I will be able to run, jump, and do all my favorite work outs again. Man oh man, I can't wait for that day. And I never guessed in a million years I would say that. The limitations on my body has made me so so so so so grateful for my body. I know I know, it'll probably never be the same, but I am sure grateful for the hope of being a normal person again.
2. My family. God must have known I was too weak to make it on my own, and I admire those that are. But I am so grateful for the family God blessed me with. My mom. One of my favorite parts of my day right now is at 3:30 on my commute home I call her. I always start by asking her what she's doing. If she's busy I just hang up but if not we chat for the next 20 minutes until I get home. My favorite thing recently when she answered the phone she said, "You are going to think all I do is shop." (Which is hilarious because my mom is the least materialistic woman I know. And she hate hate hates to shop.) But I love those 20 minutes that we just get to chat.
My dad. Words can't even begin to express how much I love and admire him. He's so wise and funny and just cool.
My siblings and their families. I am so ridiculously proud of who they are and what they have become. I am so grateful to be a part of such a wonderful clan of people.
And of course my aunt Raine.
3. My job. I finally confessed something to Jason the other day. Probably shouldn't have. He might not ever let me live it down. My confession? I only hate my job about 23% of the time. The other 77% I can't believe I am lucky enough to do what I do. I love my subject. I love the mass majority of good good kids. I love their kindness. I love their dreams. I love how they treat me and love me and how they let me help mold them into wonderful human beings. But man, that other 23% really really sucks. But I am pretty lucky. I wake up every day pretty dang excited about my day ahead. (Well except through this pregnancy.... there have been lots of days when I just wanted to die rather than getting off the couch, and just dreamed of the exact moment I could get back on it.)
Along with that: my co-workers. More and more I am realizing and try to soak in as much as I can the amazing teachers I work with every day. I almost can't talk about how much I love my partner without crying. He is the most wonderful gentile kind caring man. It's crazy that after 34 years of teaching he still cares about the kids as much as he does! He is a good good man and I am so lucky to get to teach with him.
The rest of my department is just as wonderful. The lady that would give the shirt off her back to not only me but to any stinky 8th grader she teaches is amazing. I don't know how she has a heart big enough to love them, but she does. The other two teachers I have just as much love and respect for. I am so lucky.
4. My friends. Let's just say I love them all.
But of course, why is my life so unbelievably happy???
5. Because of Jason. Even though as we speak he probably wants to punch me in the face because it's now 6 am and I have been typing on a laptop in bed for the last hour.......... I didn't know it was humanly possible to love someone like I love him. Right now we call them my "Love Googles" because it is really ridiculous. I think it's got to be a pregnancy hormone or something but man alive I can't stop loving him.
He really is the best human being to me and I am so grateful that he chose me. But if I was going to say what I am most grateful for is how beautiful it is to watch us mold together. It hasn't always been beautiful. Frankly, it's been quite painful and slow but watching that transition has been the most beautiful thing I've ever been a part of. And every day I cannot wait for the moment that I get to see him. Every single day it makes me unbelievably grateful.
Now bring on the Pumpkin Pie!