Thursday, September 10, 2015

Pregnant.

So I wrote this post 14 weeks ago.....


Yep, I am pregnant.  I've known for about 7 weeks now.  And I am thrilled out of my mind.  It's true.  But it's been the weirdest thing.  The more people I tell, the more I regret telling anyone.  Don't get me wrong.  People are absolutely thrilled for me.  They know how long this road I have traveled has been and how much I have wanted this day to come.

But what absolutely blows my mind is how much I hate talking about it.  All of it.  Any of it.

Unlike dating and then the wedding, where all I wanted to talk to anyone and everyone about was every single detail, me - a normally very open and vocal person - wants to hide in a hole and pretend like this pregnancy doesn't exist for another  6 months.  Why?

Well let me elaborate.

When someone hears you are pregnant they want to talk about it.  That doesn't sound so bad right?

But the problem is..... one of two things happen when they want to talk about it.  They either want to ask me questions  or they want to talk about their own experiences with pregnancy.  I know, I know that doesn't sound that bad.  And maybe I am just an emotional irrational pregnant woman but it seems like every conversation with almost anyone about my pregnancy ends with me trying my hardest to bite my tongue (even though many times I don't bite hard enough and I snap).

Some examples of reasons why I hate talking about my pregnancy.

1. The statement "Just you wait"................  honestly, I don't think there is a more demeaning thing you can say to a person in any stage of life.  What "just you wait" is saying to a person is, "I am so much wiser and experienced than you and so I can clearly state that you lack any experience to understand anything that is going to happen to you in the future." And whether that is true or not really doesn't matter, stating such a thing to a person is just down right degrading.

2. How are you feeling?

Sounds like a simple question right?  But it's not.  There is no right answer.  If I say I feel fine then I get a whole spill of how of course I do I haven't hit week (insert any week but the week I am in).

If I tell the truth and explain I feel lousy then I hear something to the effect of "just you wait" OR I hear a whole spill on how there is no possible way that I could possibly feel as lousy as someone else did.  Which inevitably leads into some horror story about a pregnancy or a labor and delivery that went bad.  Why is it that every woman wants to talk about stories of delivery??? Why????

Either way I can't win.

But the most sensitive and horrible thing that inevitably comes up in every conversation about being pregnant is:

3. What will you do about work after you have your baby?

My answer, "I will keep teaching until Jason finishes dental school."

But sadly it can't stop there. From that point I either get a whole slew of questions about day care/baby sitters/how I'm going to handle dumping my newborn off with some strangers/ or other unsettling questions. 

Or I get scolded for not staying home. 

Or I get a "good for you. I know so and so and she wanted to keep working through all 12 of her kids"  Like. I. Have. A. Choice. 

But either way. Anyway. I can't win. 

I walk away from every conversation wishing more than anything that I hadn't told that person about the pregnancy. 

So luckily I have one thing going for me. 

I am 5'9 and not the smallest build. So my solution to this whole situation??!!! I am going to wait until it looks like I have a freaking pumpkin hidden in my shirt to tell anyone that I'm having a baby. Not because I'm upset about it. Because I'm not. I've never been more excited for anything in my entire life. But because this sensitive prego girl needs her privacy. 


4 comments:

maggie said...

Seriously, who comments on blogs anymore??
Loved your post! With our last one, I didn't even tell Joseph I was pregnant until 16 weeks, that's how bad I didn't want to talk about it :)

xoxo

Marcie Parson said...

Spot on :) Love you!

Kami Bratten said...

So true! Just You Wait is the worst!!!

Dave and Alisha said...

Yup, I know most people mean well but a simple "congrats" will do just fine. My personal favorite right now (especially being in a new ward)
Random Person: "So you're expecting your first, how long have you been married?"
Me: "10 years"
Followed by awkward silence :)