Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Being Great.

It's in the quiet times, usually in the peace of the early morning that I feel it.  But sometimes it happens elsewhere.  It's rare.  And as like with so many other things in life, I almost wonder if talking about it will cheapen the experience.  But still I feel like it's one of those times I should talk about it.  Those rare moments when I feel it in front of a class that makes it all worth it.

I really believe we are all meant to be great, do great, make greatness.  Sometimes I feel like I am not living up to what God wants from me.  Like I am sitting in this dark hole of a classroom yelling at, grading at, and trying to open the eyes of 15 year old kids... when really maybe it isn't possible.  

But then moments like just now happen.  And I remember.  I am here for a reason.  I have a purpose.  And although I know I'll never be recognized or even realize the impact... It is important.  

When I have 40 sets of eyes watching my every move, listening to every word, and feeling what I am feeling.  I know there is change.  I know it is important.  And I know I am doing my part.  

It's amazing. The feeling of really helping, really impacting, really changing people. I know that this is my mission, my purpose. 

But it still brought me to tears when I got this in an email later today. 

Thank you for being so tuned in to your students and teaching them just what they really need to know. From a parent's perspective, you're just the best things ever!

I don't write this for praise.  I don't write this to make sure everyone knows I am a fantastic teacher because so often I am not.  I write this to encourage, to inspire, to help anyone out there who is striving towards greatness. We all are here for a purpose. Very different. Very unique. Very specialized to us. For a reason beyond trying to get from here to death as painlessly as possible. Some bring beauty, others make life better, but everyone has something. 

Sometimes it's hard being the daughter of someone with such a visual mission. Someone who got fame and furtune from following his mission. Because sometimes it makes my mission feel less significant, less important, and makes me question if it is really a mission at all. 

But then there are those rare moment when I feel it, they feel it, and I know the world is a better place because I'm in it. 

I need to bask in the moment.... because all too quickly it fades away and I'm left staring into 40 sets of glazed-over eyes that would rather be anywhere in the world than sitting in Mrs. B's class for one more second.

And the vicious cycle continues. 

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

One Year.

Finally, I got a fortune cookie that I know is real! When I got this fortune cookie I just smiled. Finally. My Chinese (American hallmark card writer) philosopher got it right.


It's been one year. One year of bliss. One year of misery. One year of comfort. One year of feeling more alone than ever before. Yes, one year of marriage. 

There is only three things I know to be true.

 - I could not have married someone more different than me in every single possible way excluding a testimony. (You think I'm exaggerating.... But I promise) 

- Being married to him is making me a better person. 

- And I love him more today than I thought was possible one year ago. 


I thought the cake tasted even better a year later!!!! But just to illustrate my point.... How we chose to dive into our cake top...(well until Jason was so disgusted because A. I was using my fingers and getting crumbles everywhere B. his OCD kicked in and was afraid of all that could be growing in the year old/thawed twice cake... That he threw it away.) 

Oh how much less glamorous than this....


Sometimes I still stare at Jason and can't believe it's really real.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Our Anniversary Weekend

Jason and I had no plans for our anniversary weekend.  All we knew was that we should follow the sun and that I had to fly SLC from Long Beach on Tuesday afternoon to fly to Nebraska.  So when we left Friday after school we just headed south.  (we like to pretend to be spontaneous, but any long time reader of this blog or anyone that knows me at all can easily guess where we headed.)

My Run around Glendora was like riding Soarin' over California.  The smells were AMAZING!
Then we headed across LA and headed towards Santa Barbra.  When I saw the beautiful ocean I made Jason pull over so we could spend some time soaking in the sun.

After a few hours in the sun we headed up PCH through Malibu and along the coast until we made it to our darling hotel in Carpinteria.

That night we ventured over to Santa Barbra and walked down State Street.  It is a darling street of stores, restaurants, and bars like unto all the other touristy places.  We had desert at a French Restaurant that was so french everything was actually only in French..... We made out pretty well considering!

Molten Lava cake with Vanilla Bean Gelato and the other was a Pistachio Gelato with a meringue crust.  Amazing.

I love Santa Barbra!!!!! Sunshine, Beach, and Palm Trees.... life doesn't get any better!

Amazing Italian Lunch

Later that night we went back to Glendora to have an romantic dinner with our favorite couple....

 The next day we were planning on going to Disneyland, but last minute decided we'd rather do other things. (Yes this was my decision.... can you believe it?)

We made the ultimate compromise.... Jason got to climb while I got to lay out/swim in a waveless ocean.  Life doesn't get any better than this!!!!

 After we went to dinner at Downtown Disney where I saw my first hipster Mickey.... He made my heart melt.

and of course... no trip to LA would be complete without at least a little of this.

 This was the best weekend ever.........

Up next: Nebraska, where all your wildest dreams come true.

Monday, March 17, 2014


I have at least 6 posts half way/completely written that I just haven't posted.  Life has been pretty fantastic recently.  Which I guess is what I wanted to write about.

Today is my birthday.


In recent years birthdays have always been something that made me sad.  I tried to be happy but they were just a blatant reminder of the fact that my life was not where I wanted it to be.

Spring became a sad thing.

WHICH is INSANE!  I love spring!

You can read more about how the tulips bursting through the remnants of winter made me sad here here or here.

But I guess this is why journaling is so valuable to me.  To see the drastic contrast of life.

I feel so much love in my life right now.  Love from every direction.  I often cry when I talk about all this love.  I have the most wonderful parents.  I have the most wonderful family and friends.  I have the most wonderful mother in law.  But most of all, of course the reason why my life is so drastically different, I have the most wonderful, caring, kind, considerate husband.  And of course that is why my life is different.

Last weekend we celebrated our first anniversary.  (A post of course in the making)  But because of the love that I feel from him and our celebration, I don't even need a birthday.  I don't need presents, attention, or anything else.  Just walking outside and seeing the tulips are starting to burst through the soil is enough for me.  Something that used to bring me sorrow brings me joy again.  And for me this year, that is enough.

I am so excited what year 32 will look like for me, for us, for our life.

So in honor of my special day, some pictures of my favorite flowers at my favorite place.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Who Said it?

My friend at school showed me the funnest article!! "Who said it: Prophet or Princess?"

So here we go... you decide whether each quote was by an apostle/prophet or a Disney character?

1. "You must not let anyone define your limits because of where you come from."
2. "If something is buried in the past, leave it buried."
3. "When we love somebody, we show it by doing something nice."
4."Don't worry.  If the time comes you'll know what to do."
5. "You're braver than you  believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
6. "Wishing will not make it so."
7. "You're at peace because you know it's okay to be afraid."
8. "We cannot always see the end from the beginning."
9. "Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest one."
10. "We must never allow doubt to hold us prisoner."

1. Gasteau in Ratatouille
2. Elder Holland
3. Elder Nelson
4. Mrs. Incredible
5.Christopher Robin
6. President Monson
7. Mulan
8. Elder Andersen
9. Grandmother Willow in Pocahontas
10. President Uchtdorf

Link to the article