Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Being Great.

It's in the quiet times, usually in the peace of the early morning that I feel it.  But sometimes it happens elsewhere.  It's rare.  And as like with so many other things in life, I almost wonder if talking about it will cheapen the experience.  But still I feel like it's one of those times I should talk about it.  Those rare moments when I feel it in front of a class that makes it all worth it.

I really believe we are all meant to be great, do great, make greatness.  Sometimes I feel like I am not living up to what God wants from me.  Like I am sitting in this dark hole of a classroom yelling at, grading at, and trying to open the eyes of 15 year old kids... when really maybe it isn't possible.  

But then moments like just now happen.  And I remember.  I am here for a reason.  I have a purpose.  And although I know I'll never be recognized or even realize the impact... It is important.  

When I have 40 sets of eyes watching my every move, listening to every word, and feeling what I am feeling.  I know there is change.  I know it is important.  And I know I am doing my part.  

It's amazing. The feeling of really helping, really impacting, really changing people. I know that this is my mission, my purpose. 

But it still brought me to tears when I got this in an email later today. 

Thank you for being so tuned in to your students and teaching them just what they really need to know. From a parent's perspective, you're just the best things ever!

I don't write this for praise.  I don't write this to make sure everyone knows I am a fantastic teacher because so often I am not.  I write this to encourage, to inspire, to help anyone out there who is striving towards greatness. We all are here for a purpose. Very different. Very unique. Very specialized to us. For a reason beyond trying to get from here to death as painlessly as possible. Some bring beauty, others make life better, but everyone has something. 

Sometimes it's hard being the daughter of someone with such a visual mission. Someone who got fame and furtune from following his mission. Because sometimes it makes my mission feel less significant, less important, and makes me question if it is really a mission at all. 

But then there are those rare moment when I feel it, they feel it, and I know the world is a better place because I'm in it. 

I need to bask in the moment.... because all too quickly it fades away and I'm left staring into 40 sets of glazed-over eyes that would rather be anywhere in the world than sitting in Mrs. B's class for one more second.

And the vicious cycle continues. 


goddessdivine said...

Lucky. I got chewed out by a parent this afternoon. :-(

emilee said...

Miss Parson (I seriously don't know your name now), did you know I am going to get my degree in middle school education? Reading your blog has only fueled my passion to teach pre-pubescent punks.
We teenagers rarely acknowledge the service that is rendered on our behalf, and it's a shame...However, I assure you, your "mission" is significant. It's four years later, and I still think about your heart-to-hearts all the time (I also repeat them to my freshmen "colleagues" every time they complain about memorizing maps...geography is important!).
Teachers don't get thanked; teachers don't teach for praise. Y'all teach because you love us punks.
Thanks for loving us, Miss P.

Kris said...

I just love you Emilee!!! And you probably have no idea how much I remember worrying about you. You were/are so bright and I was so worried when your grades didn't reflect that. I was worried about how you were going to get into BYU. It's been so fun to watch your journey. Watch you change and grow. Thank you for letting me be a spectator :)