I've gotten quite addicted. Half of the times these days I don't even read the article... I scroll straight down to the comments. I read the comments until I am so ridiculously frustrated that I can't take it anymore and I move on to stalking someone or something else.
I was particularly more concerned about trolls when my dear cousin Erica had a post that blew up with 100,000+ readers over a couple of days. It was a beautiful, loving post. It was trying to build, trying to enrage. But still.... the trollers came. Clearly Erica is a tough girl, clearly she can handle it. But still it probably bothered me even more than if someone was saying those comments about me/my blog. (I am overly protective of people I love.... ask my poor little brother at his high school basketball games...)
I've often wondered who are these people? These people who get online and spend their days moving from article to blog making terrible, mean, cruel, or just straight up nasty comments. Who does this? Who is such a nasty person that they would leave such hurtful words for the whole wide web to read?
Then I saw this article on Buzzfeed titled "Girl Goes to Jail for Trolling." I clicked on it hoping to get a glance inside the world of a troller. They had a picture of the girl.
I felt like this picture told a thousand tales. It made so much more sense. I looked at this picture and I understood. I saw an unhappy girl who spends her life tearing others down.
I actually had a conversation about these type of people with HRG. I've often noticed how she always throws things like, "While my daughter was napping" and wondered why she always feels the need to say that. Or she put a video of her 18 month old daughter "running" on her treadmill. She bolded the statement, "The treadmill was turned off and unplugged." I thought I understood... you know thinking that with over 200+ comments on her blog a day there is bound to be a few negative comments every now and then.... But then I talked to Janae. I had no. idea. There is a whole website with 368 threads dedicated to bashing on Janae... possibly one of the nicest, sweetest girls I've ever hung out with at the gym.
So of course, curiosity got to me and I started reading.... threads dedicated to everything from her ongoing divorce to her "child neglect' to her eye lashes! It blew my mind. Finally I had to stop because I was getting so mad.
WHY!?! Why would people dedicate there lives on tearing people down so publically? Even if I thought any of these thoughts I would never ever post them anywhere online.
That's when it hit me. Slap.
How many times have I said something just as mean, nasty, or hurtful about someone else. Sure, I didn't post it anywhere. Sure more than likely that person will never hear it. But when I saw the picture of that troller, I started thinking about what negative comments are doing to my insides. Sure it might not affect my physical appearance but what about my soul?
So I'm making a new goal that I am sure I will struggled with for the rest of my life. I'm sure it's a struggle for a lot of us. But I'm really trying. Trying to search for beauty rather than the flaws. Trying to build rather than wreck. It's nothing new. Nothing novel. But I feel like thinking of my insides. Thinking of my soul and what I want it to look like it changes my perspective or why it is so important.
And I guess I'm not the only person with trolling on my mind.... my old roommate's sister wrote this today,
5 questions to ask myself before I post a comment online.