Sunday, November 10, 2013

Life as a teacher

Every time I remember my age I feel a prick of pain.  Thirty.  I hurt because I look around and it seems everyone has 2, 3, 4, heck some even 5 kids.... and here I am sitting alone (just literally, not figuratively... Jason is at a church meeting.)  Yesterday at the funeral I was reminded of the principle that I learn time and time again... in the end only family matters.

So of course it makes me sad.  I want kids, lots of kids.  I used to joke I wanted 12.  (I know I know ridiculous)  but it still hurts a lot when I'm sitting here alone.

But this weekend I was reminded how lucky I have been.  How even though I haven't been blessed with my own children yet, I have been blessed with so many children that it almost desensitizes me.  I was talking with Joanie about it the other day.  Now that we've been teachers for almost 10 years we are growing pretty catalyst.  I feel like I've experienced so many heart wrenching stories of what kids have to go through that they start to blend together just like I've been told positive feedback about being a teacher so much that it doesn't really affect me that much anymore.  Neither really give me the drive or motivation to be a good teacher like they once did.  Despite my best efforts I find myself viewing my kids as annoying stinky ungrateful punks.

But luckily every so often I have weekends like this where I am reminded of why I work so hard to do what I do.  And usually it gets me through until the next time I need to be whipped into shape.  

This weekend was state volleyball.  We went and watched my cute little kids win the state championship.  It was fun, it was exciting.  But most of all I loved watching those girls and the crowd of kids that I worked so hard to mold.  They are good kids.  And I feel so lucky to know them.

Then this morning I went to my star student's mission homecoming.  As soon as I saw him I had tears.  (I really am pathetic sometimes.)  I can't even put into words what this kid means to me.  But I was so proud as I sat and listened to his talk 100% about His Savior.  I couldn't help but think of how much this little boy with glasses that were too big for his face has changed and grown in the last 8 years that I have known him. 

As we drove home from his talk I couldn't help but think of a letter he wrote me when he found out I was leaving that school and would no longer be his teacher.  

Thank you, Miss Parson.  May you go to bed every night knowing that you have greatly enriched the lives of those around you--not least of all me. 

I feel so lucky right now.  Lucky that I've had the chance to be around, be influenced by, and hopefully help so many kids that I know are headed for greatness.


Zoe said...

Good news, you have me and I'm a pretty fantastic child to have ;)

Camile said...

I just read your post today and it goes hand in hand with what "Miss Susy Sunshine" posted today also. :)