This morning marks my 9th first day of school as a teacher.........
And is it weird that today I might be the most scared?
Is it because I know what I am getting myself into more than ever?
Is it because I have 41 students crammed into each class when I only have 36 desks?
Is it because I am teaching an early morning PE class that I have NO idea what I am doing?
I honestly don't know what it is. All I know is that I laid out my new school outfit last night to make sure I get dressed... (I had a nightmare two nights ago that I had nothing to wear on the first day)
All I know is I woke up at 4:30 this morning ready to get it over with. The day where the kids stare at me like I'm crazy. Or worse glare daring me to teach them. The day where I meet 293. Yes I have 293 students. 293 impressionable kids that I have the power to help or hurt. It's a scary thing being a teacher. When we all look back at our childhood and think of the most helpful or damaging influences in our experiences... often both can be said for a teacher.
I guess I'm most scared because this year. I want to be great. I haven't said that the past few years. I've just done what I had to to get by. But this year I want to be different. This year I want to be different. I want to be the best teacher I've ever been. And I think that's why I am scared. I know what that takes. And it isn't easy.
So wish me luck. Off to change the world.