Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Tappin' Out

*Disclaimer: This is one of those whinny posts that I often times delete within a day.  So if you actually read it, enjoy my emotional... not so logical whine. (And if you feel like commenting after asking if I want some cheese and crackers to go with that whine, I don't blame you.)

I'm Done.
Tappin' Out.
Waving my white flag.
Stickin' a fork in it.
(Insert any other phrase I have forgotten)

As of last night I am officially done dating.  I am so sick of it!!!  I am so sick of the awkward first date.  I am so sick of the boring dates when I look at my watch and just wish I could be in bed.  I am so sick of the stupid formality of it all.  I am sick of trying to pretend to like something, be something, or do something in order to appease my date.

Yesterday in class I was teaching about the arranged marriages.  I joked that I wished I was born in such a culture.  One of my quieter geekier students (hence I was shocked hearing it from him) said, "Miss Parson, you could have been married a hundred times if you wanted to!"...... snap.

But to answer your question... why today?  Why have I decided I'm done dating as of today.  Last night was the straw that broke the camel's back.  I've been going on a lot of first dates recently.  It is absolutely exhausting...I met a guy a couple of weeks ago.  We talked about going out.  He called and I almost felt like I was on the old 70's church movie "The Phone Call" as he awkwardly asked me on a date.  It was kinda endearing how nervous he sounded.  I thought he was a cool guy.  I was kinda excited to get to know him.  But apparently when I text him my address last night and told him I was excited about our date I didn't use enough !!!!! or :) :) :) or maybe I should have thrown in a ;) because 10 minutes before the date.... which means, AFTER I had already pulled myself out of my warm cozy bed, taken a shower, put on make up, done my hair, and got dressed.... he sent this text,
I'm done.

***My whining is not about this particular guy.  Honestly, I think he chickened out, I don't think he is a jerk.  (It might have to do with when he asked me how long I've been teaching and I told him this is my 7th year and he did the math.... since he graduated high school in 2008...)   But anyways my whining is about how ridiculous/sensitive/vulnerable dating can make us.  Hence, I am done.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Monday, February 27, 2012

Weekend in Review

Snap Shots of my weekend.
Agony of Defeat part II.

Oh hello Spring!  It's nice to see you again.

My sister-in-law sure knew exactly what I needed in Sacrament Meeting

Rock. Star.

Thank you for the 12 mile run Las Vegas.
This weekend was exactly what I needed... people I love.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Life Changing.

So the other night I went on a date with a guy I had met the previous week.  Our first meeting was all about guessing stuff about each other.  He guessed I was a history teacher... I guessed he was the first born son based off his unusual name... anyways I thought his idea for a date was genius.  (I wouldn't be surprised if he used this idea often, but it was still genius!)  We went to Barnes and Noble.  He told me I had 10 minutes to walk around the store and come up with 5 books that I thought he would like and he'd do the same.  As I was walking around I got caught up in all of the books that I have read and loved.  All of the sudden I looked down and realized it had been longer than 10 minutes so I quickly grabbed a few books that I thought were funny and grabbed a couple of books I loved.  Books I grabbed for him: How to get a job even with a nose ring.  And my personal favorite: A diary of a Wimpy Kid.  (Luckily he wasn't offended... he thought it was hilarious)

But so bad as I was walking around the store... I really just wanted to talk to him about the books that really changed me.  But rather than boring him.... I figure I'd bore you.  So here it is:

The 5 books that have changed my life. 

Number 5:  Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

 Number 4:  When you drop your ethics to chase after a mirage... in the end you will feel so ruined that the only solution is to throw yourself in front of a train.

 Number 3: So Twain created a fictional character to be Joan's childhood friend to narrate the true story of her life.  At the end of the book, as Joan is burning on the stake he says, "Was this world wonder in our midst all these years, and we too dull to see it?"
 Number 2: It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities[indeed one or the other is an eventuality], it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another… all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics.

There are no ordinary people.

You have never talked to a mere mortal.

Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit—immortal horrors or everlasting splendors.

Number 1:

“Hold everything in your hands lightly, otherwise it hurts when God pries your fingers open.” 


 “Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.” 

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Redmen Pride

Although my blood is starting to turn Viking Blue... there will always be a part of me that loves my Redmen.  How am I spending my afternoon.... like this:
They won the game today but you know what.... even if we never seem to pull through and win the tournament.... our pep band is the the best I've ever heard.... Go Redmen!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The Meaning of LIfe

This warms my heart.


What people talk about before they die.
by Kerry Egan
As a divinity school student, I had just started working as a student chaplain at a cancer hospital when my professor asked me about my work.  I was 26 years old and still learning what a chaplain did.
"I talk to the patients," I told him.
"You talk to patients?  And tell me, what do people who are sick and dying talk to the student chaplain about?" he asked.
I had never considered the question before.  “Well,” I responded slowly, “Mostly we talk about their families.”
“Do you talk about God?
“Umm, not usually.”
“Or their religion?”
“Not so much.”
“The meaning of their lives?”
“Sometimes.”
“And prayer?  Do you lead them in prayer?  Or ritual?”
“Well,” I hesitated.  “Sometimes.  But not usually, not really.”
I felt derision creeping into the professor's voice.  “So you just visit people and talk about their families?”
“Well, they talk.  I mostly listen.”
“Huh.”  He leaned back in his chair.
A week later, in the middle of a lecture in this professor's packed class, he started to tell a story about a student he once met who was a chaplain intern at a hospital.
“And I asked her, 'What exactly do you do as a chaplain?'  And she replied, 'Well, I talk to people about their families.'” He paused for effect. “And that was this student's understanding of  faith!  That was as deep as this person's spiritual life went!  Talking about other people's families!”
The students laughed at the shallowness of the silly student.  The professor was on a roll.
“And I thought to myself,” he continued, “that if I was ever sick in the hospital, if I was ever dying, that the last person I would ever want to see is some Harvard Divinity School student chaplain wanting to talk to me about my family.”
My body went numb with shame.  At the time I thought that maybe, if I was a better chaplain, I would know how to talk to people about big spiritual questions.  Maybe if dying people met with a good, experienced chaplain they would talk about God, I thought.
Today, 13 years later, I am a hospice chaplain.  I visit people who are dying  in their homes, in hospitals, in nursing homes.   And if you were to ask me the same question - What do people who are sick and dying talk about with the chaplain?  – I, without hesitation or uncertainty, would give you the same answer. Mostly, they talk about their families: about their mothers and fathers, their sons and daughters.
They talk about the love they felt, and the love they gave.  Often they talk about love they did not receive, or the love they did not know how to offer, the love they withheld, or maybe never felt for the ones they should have loved unconditionally.
They talk about how they learned what love is, and what it is not.    And sometimes, when they are actively dying, fluid gurgling in their throats, they reach their hands out to things I cannot see and they call out to their parents:  Mama, Daddy, Mother.
What I did not understand when I was a student then, and what I would explain to that professor now, is that people talk to the chaplain about their families because that ishow we talk about God.  That is how we talk about the meaning of our lives.  That ishow we talk about the big spiritual questions of human existence.
We don't live our lives in our heads, in theology and theories.  We live our lives in our families:  the families we are born into, the families we create, the families we make through the people we choose as friends.
This is where we create our lives, this is where we find meaning, this is where our purpose becomes clear.
Family is where we first experience love and where we first give it.  It's probably the first place we've been hurt by someone we love, and hopefully the place we learn that love can overcome even the most painful rejection.
This crucible of love is where we start to ask those big spiritual questions, and ultimately where they end.
I have seen such expressions of love:  A husband gently washing his wife's face with a cool washcloth, cupping the back of her bald head in his hand to get to the nape of her neck, because she is too weak to lift it from the pillow. A daughter spooning pudding into the mouth of her mother, a woman who has not recognized her for years.
A wife arranging the pillow under the head of her husband's no-longer-breathing body as she helps the undertaker lift him onto the waiting stretcher.
We don't learn the meaning of our lives by discussing it.  It's not to be found in books or lecture halls or even churches or synagogues or mosques.  It's discovered through these actions of love.
If God is love, and we believe that to be true, then we learn about God when we learn about love. The first, and usually the last, classroom of love is the family.
Sometimes that love is not only imperfect, it seems to be missing entirely.  Monstrous things can happen in families.  Too often, more often than I want to believe possible, patients tell me what it feels like when the person you love beats you or rapes you.  They tell me what it feels like to know that you are utterly unwanted by your parents.  They tell me what it feels like to be the target of someone's rage.   They tell me what it feels like to know that you abandoned your children, or that your drinking destroyed your family, or that you failed to care for those who needed you.
Even in these cases, I am amazed at the strength of the human soul.  People who did not know love in their families know that they should have been loved.  They somehow know what was missing, and what they deserved as children and adults.
When the love is imperfect, or a family is destructive, something else can be learned:  forgiveness.  The spiritual work of being human is learning how to love and how to forgive.
We don’t have to use words of theology to talk about God; people who are close to death almost never do. We should learn from those who are dying that the best way to teach our children about God is by loving each other wholly and forgiving each other fully - just as each of us longs to be loved and forgiven by our mothers and fathers, sons and daughters.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Let the count down begin!

We seriously needed some good news around here today... so....... drum roll please.

55 days and I'll be looking like this!

(This is what I look like when I am INSANELY happy)

P.S. If you can't te;; behind the clearly crazy lady is the beautiful blue water... the gorgeous golden sun... Hawaii.

Monday, February 20, 2012

I Love These Guys

Well it's official.  In ALL of the Parson clan.... 50 Parson cousins.... you're looking at the only three that aren't married/divorced/engaged/living with someone.  And from the looks of it... we are holding strong.

Friday, February 17, 2012

The Power of One

It's an amazing concept.... what one person can do.  The heart to heart that I mentioned here went really well.  I had a student sing "Waiting for the World to Change" by John Mayer.  We talked about why people are waiting.  Why when there is so many problems in the world, so many are just sitting back and doing nothing.  We talked about different people that are making a difference in the world.  We then talked about people throughout history that have made a difference.

I then explained that we are going to learn about lots of problems around the world.  I begged them to find something they are passionate about.  I begged them to not wait around for someone else to do the hard things.  I begged them to prepare so one day they could change the world.

Then we are watching parts of one of my favorite movies, "The Power of One".  I must see.  My favorite quote from the movie:


Little beat big when little is smart.
First with your head, then with your heart.







Speaking of little beat big.... last night one of my little freshmen took state in wrestling.  The poor kid has been starving himself for 3+ months.  Every time we had food in class he had to be tortured... sometimes I would ask him when the last time he drank anything was.... often times it was the previous day.  Awful.  But big sacrifice paid off... so today I made cookies for him and his older brother who also took state, PG won again!  AMAZING!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

What a cute boy......


to know that my favorite flower is tulips.

In Honor of Valentine's Day

Here is my theme... of the day.... and forever.
I'm such a sucker for sailboats!



What am  I doing for my Valentine's Day you ask?
Watching my Freshmen Boy's Basketball Team play in the Semi-Finals.
Yes I am that pathetic.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Friday Night

I couldn't believe my eyes.... Are you serious?  This was unreal.  When I saw what this guy was wearing I was blown away.  I couldn't not have hand picked his clothes to be more of a dream to me....

He was wearing a blue and white gingham button down shirt with a red, blue and white plaid skinny tie with a red v-neck pull over... with skinny jeans and navy sperrys.  
           


I looked down at the more trendy hip outfit I had chosen for our date and had wished I was wearing a plaid skirt, white shirt and my penny loafer sperrys.... 

But I just laughed at how good my date looked.... if only he knew that he was exactly the look of my dream guy.    We had the most fantastic date.  We went to dinner at Flemings, walked around the Gateway, and watched the Vow.  But I probably won't go into much more detail of the date for one reason....

It wasn't long into the date that he confessed.... He read my blog.  I laughed and thought about my last couple blog entrys and wondered what he thought about me based off the one or two posts I'm sure he read.  But the most shocking thing of the night was when he said, "Yeah I can't believe how much you post.  You have posted almost every day for well over a year."..... how did he know that??  Then he said, "My co-worker said  I probably shouldn't tell you this, but I've been reading it.... all of it."  I was blown away.... "How far back have you read?"  He said, " I've read over a year... I just leave it open and read a few every little while."  I was completely blown away!  Seriously?  My thoughts started racing over all the posts of the last year.... thinking about the posts of deleted... but worried about the ones I hadn't.  I felt instantly vulnerable.  But then I had to smile.... looking over at what he was wearing I remembered... He has read all my thoughts, feelings, and opinions over the last year.... and not only did he STILL want to go out with me, he knew exactly what to wear that would  blow me away.  Talk about speechless.

So of course we talked quite a bit about the blog.  He had some questions... confused about some of the blogposts that have been deleted.... like my Florida trip... Thanksgiving.... The Wishing Well... but my favorite question he asked was, "Now who is this Lars guy?"

He asked if I wanted to know his favorite post so far.  I was REALLY curious to hear this one.  He said he was shocked that not a single person commented on it.  His favorite blog post:


What a fun night.  But I am clearly not going to write anymore... cuz you guessed it, I'm sure he's going to read this. ;)

Friday, February 10, 2012

Matched

My sister and I were at Gap a while ago... honestly I can't figure out when it was... but I know we were in the Gap buying jeans.  She started talking to one of her high school friends.  I wasn't really paying attention... if I remember correctly I think I was kinda bugged because our mission that day was to find her a new pair of jeans... and she sat and talked to this girl FOREVER.

I remember as we walked away Sara said, "She is writing a book series.... Disney has already bought the story."  I said, "What's her name?"  She said, "She grew up down the street from us, her name is Ally Condie but it was Braithwait."  I didn't really remember her so I completely forgot.... until...

Every single one of my students has been reading her books!  So I figure I'd better jump on the band wagon and see what all the fuss is about.


I love the cover!  I love the idea of the story.  I was excited about the story.  (I read the entire 366 pages in one day.)  And I think if I had never read a few books I would have thought her story absolutely GENIUS!  But sadly all her story is is a mixture of:
- Ender's Game
- A G version of The Hunger Games
- A not so pathetic Twilight

I absolutely love Ender's Game and The Hunger Games so I loved a lot about Matched.... but I am SO SO SO sick of the pathetic love triangle of 2 guys desperately in love with a girl and the girl picking the weaker of the two guys (clearly in my opinion).

I'm currently reading the 2nd book in the series called Crossed.  It's a slow start so I haven't gotten far but I would recommend Matched if you want a lite easy read that's pretty fun and entertaining... and if you want to support the Cedar City girl that's getting to live out her dream as a writer.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Happy News.

You know the news that is so happy it makes you cry?  You know the kind that makes you giggle, cheer, and cry all at the same time?  Well we've been having a lot of that kinda news lately.  Yesterday as I was driving home from school, the sun was shinning, it was a beautiful day, and once again I couldn't help but cry as I thought about it all.  So I guess this is my good news minute:

- My little brother got into med school!  So although the sad part of this is my buddy who adventured Utah Valley with me 6 years ago is finally leaving....it is to much bigger and better places!

- My sister's husband got his Derm residency in Utah Valley so my sister can finally build her dream home here!!! I am already dreaming about cooking together, planting beautiful herb and flower gardens together, and just hanging out....There is just something so magical about family.

-But probably the best news that made me jump up and down, cheer, laugh, and cry is the fact that MS can go into remission.... WHO KNEW!  But it is the best news ever!!!!

 

Monday, February 6, 2012

A Norwegian's Perspective...

Hanging out with a European for a weekend was so amazing!  Things that we take for granted... things we don't even pay attention to... things that we find normal.  It's SO fun to see our world through a foreigner's eyes.  For instance.... of ALL the things to be shocked by and take a picture of in America...

The chunk of butter.. see how HUGE that is!!!!

To see her version of our weekend visit her blog by clicking:

qtdoll.wordpress.com

Friday, February 3, 2012

5:22 am

My favorite time of day is probably 5:22 am.  Crazy time I know.  It's because every morning at 5 am my alarm clock goes off.  I get up and go get a huge glass of water.... I hate how thirsty I wake up every morning.  But then I climb back into bed and snuggle up with my huge comforter and my favorite teddy bear and around 5:22 am I just sit and think.  For some reason around 5:22 am the world just seems to make sense.  Everything is in order.  Most of the time I don't have a care in the world.  It's probably because of what Mrs. Stacey told Anne, "Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it."  At 5:22 am.... everything is fresh.

This morning I thought I'd share what I have been thinking about.  I mean, it kinda ruins my moment... trying to capture my thoughts at 5:22 am and put them into words... it's like trying to capture a rainbow.  But I think I want to try.

Do you ever have those moments when you just smile up at God and say "Thank you." ?  You know the moments... when you see the path you could have been on.... the path that you might have chosen for yourself, but thankfully God stepped in and redirected you.  It's kinda a theme I have been thinking a lot about lately.  Last night on Grey's (I know... it's almost blasphemy to talk about God and Grey's in the same paragraph...) it was a whole episode dedicated to showing what the characters of Grey's lives' would have looked like if they had made different decisions.  For the record I thought the episode was kinda lame, but I loved the idea.  The idea of how drastically different our lives would be if we changed a few key decisions.  I find myself wondering that sometimes.  What if I hadn't gone to BYU-Idaho to do my undergrad... what if I hadn't gone into teaching... but of course most of the time the decisions I wonder about most deal with guys... because we all know that who you marry probably most drastically changes your course of life more than any other decision.  Over Christmas break I ran into an old boyfriend at the airport.  It was almost exactly like my favorite Tim McGraw song, "I didn't ask, she didn't say".  He has created an awesome life for himself.... off at med school... with a cute little wife... it made me kinda sad.

But that's not what I want to think about this morning at 5:22 am.  I want to think about last night when I looked up and smiled at God and said thank you.  Last night I talked to an old boyfriend... a guy that I really loved. A guy that I easily could have married.   I haven't talked to or heard from him in almost 4 years.  Last night was his last night in rehab.  Of course he bragged about how cool rehab was... how Lindsey Lohan, Ben Stein, Sharon Stone, and even Demi Moore are all there.  Of course he told me how much he's changed.  How much rehab has helped him.  He told me about how awesome his wife is for sticking with him through this 10 year addiction to drugs and alcohol.  He told me about his son.  I told him that was great.  I told him I was happy for him....

But most important I smiled and thanked God that He had different plans for me.






And that is what I am thinking about as I lay in my cozy bed at 5:22 am.  But sadly, like everything else that's wonderful in life... it fades all too quickly.  And now it's 5:57 am and me and the gym have a date.

Thursday, February 2, 2012

The Clark Kent Effect

What started as a joke has turned into a semi-permanent part of my wardrobe.  After getting ready every day  this week the last thing I have been sure to put on is my new glasses.  It's quite disgustingly ironic really... thousands of dollars were spent so I wouldn't have to wear glasses anymore but I am shocked how much I love these glasses!

But the most shocking thing I have observed in the past week of wearing them  is what I like to call the Clark Kent Effect or CKE.  An abnormally large number of compliments have been given to my clothes, my hair, and even my weight.  Random strangers have walked up to me to say something nice.  Rarely do they even compliment my glasses but the only variable that has changed in my appearance since the compliments have began is the glasses.  





Who knows maybe next week I'll start wearing blue and red spandex.