Wednesday, December 5, 2012


I wish I remembered why.  I am sure it make so much more sense if I remembered.  But the conversation clearly wasn't memorable until Jason said, "You are not nostalgic at all."  I seriously laughed.  Out loud. The belly laugh kind.  I have stacks of yearbooks, scrapbooks, and journals that would beg to differ with that statement.  But I came to the most amazing realization as I racked my brain trying to figure out why Jason would think I am not nostalgic.  *Warning.  This is going to be mushy for a minute.  My life is so wonderful right now, I am so happy with Jason, that I rarely long for the past.   

But last night we met up with some of my friends, and for the first time in a long time I longed for the past.  I've talked about these friends a lot.  I've dedicated blogposts to them.  But sometimes, I still miss them.
But it got me thinking as we were driving home last night, what other times do I long for?  What moments in my life do I miss so much that I wish I could go back?  It's an amazing thing what our memory does.  Goldenizing the past, covering up the ugly parts, and recycling it over and over in our minds to make it more than it was.  But it's the people not that places, not the history, not the event that I miss so much.  People that touched my life if only for a moment that I will never forget.  Driving around Cedar with Linz, putting up a Christmas tree with Schyler, or watching Jessica make a picture perfect apple pie.

This morning when I got to school I pulled out all my old scrap books.  Looking through the picture, I loved seeing how much I've grown, changed, and learned.  But there are three moments in time that really do make me nostalgic.

(Please excuse the poor quality of the pictures, I just took a picture of the picture with my iPhone.)

This was the summer after our Freshman Year.  15 years old and all the possibilities in the world.  Luckily I see Ashley all the time, but this picture makes me miss Mandy so much I almost can't stand it. 

This is the only decent picture of Erica and I that I can find.... from close to the time period.  (Well except ones with my granola boyfriend that we lovingly refered to as Sh-wan) but there was a time as 18 year old girls that Erica and I were so connected that we couldn't stand to go a day without talking.  

But the thing that probably makes me most nostalgic is the thought of a sunset in Idaho in August with the smell of alfalfa in the cooling summer breeze.  I kinda wonder what it makes me most nostalgic about it.  Sure it reminds of my days at college, summers with the Parsons, but most important.... it makes me nostalgic for my dad.  His humor, his fun and games, but mostly his sentimental, romantic side.  I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a old broken down barn in the country or the river bottoms of the Snake River without thinking about him. 


novelstone said...

Who would have thought two such externally opposite people could end up such kindred spirits.

Matthew and Lindsey said...

You warm my heart....good thing too because i would have been lost without you!

The UnMighty said...

This post made me miss my dad.
And alfalfa.