Even when it's a good thing... is still change. I like to pretend sometimes that I like change. With all my comings and goings, with my never ending packing and unpacking, I try and fool myself into thinking that I don't like constant.
But whenever something happens that abruptly or even subtlety that changes my existence... my whole world gets rocked. Tonight was one of those nights. I walked outside as the sun was setting (which always gets me in one of those reflective moods) especially because it was a gorgeous sunset! and I got a sentimental text message from my brother who was spending quality time with our devoted grandparents that are slipping away....
and of course I got into the car and heard Garth Brooks singing about how you moved me. Tears formed in my eyes as I drove towards the sunset with the sunroof open and the smell of alfalfa fields filling the car. Now there is always change, and I can feel change coming in my life. But tonight I was sad for change because my little brother is leaving me.
We've spent 6 years in Provo together, Craig and I. A lot of great memories and a few bad... but the most wonderful thing was, no matter what, I always knew I had someone there for me. I knew I could always count on him for whatever I needed. As I drove down the road I sat and thought of all the wonderful times together.... the road trips, the dinners, the talks, the church lessons, the changing of the infamous light bulb (that took both Craig and Chad and they were terrified of the heights) and so much more. Wonderful memories that I will look back for the rest of my life and be so grateful that I have such an amazing little brother. It must not be easy having an older sister like me. I mean the poor guy... but I have always been so proud to be his sister (well except that one intermural basketball game where he was a total ball hog and he kept missing his shots.... I had to go hide beneath the bleachers.)
Anyways, tomorrow is Craig's last day as a Provo All-Star.... it's taken him hard work and 4 different BYU 5th stake wards to finally arrive at the Provo All-Star status... but he did it. Tomorrow he heads off to medical school (okay not really, we are headed to Idaho to float rivers and fish first) but I can not even express how grateful I am that we've had this time together. Tonight I was sad.... because once again I realized this is an end to another chapter of life. (Don't get any great ideas that I'm going anywhere) And so I guess all I can say is, it was great.
I love you Craig and good luck!