Caution: very very cryptic post ahead.
Life is so funny. When I don't have any options in life I feel like my life is dead ended. I feel like I am Catherine Brooks when she's visiting Green Gables in the summer and thinking about teaching she says, "Bend in the Road? There is no bend in my road; I can see it stretching straight out in front of me to the skyline." (Pretty melodramatic I know)But sometimes when there are no options I feel this way.
Then there are times when I feel like Alice in Wonderland talking to the Cheshire cat... because he has a point... it doesn't matter what path you pick if you don't know where you want to go, it doesn't matter what direction you head.
Then there are times like now. I see so many roads in front of me. Some roads I can see straight to the skyline while others I can't tell the future beyond June 1st. Life is interesting like that. We get to choose. Our destiny is ours. We get to decide if we want to settle with the known or risk it all for the chance of something better. Often times I think of the time my dad, a newly graduated artist with a wife and 2 kids, was offered a teaching contract in one of the highest education paying states in the nation. He had taught there for a year and had enjoyed it. In front of him was a path that seemed secure, comfortable, and realistic. Due to some inside or I guess we should say above help, he didn't renew his contract. He took the path untraveled. He was absolutely nuts. He tried to make it as a professional artist. And how different his life has been since.
If there is one thing for sure, I think I have a commitment problem. Some might be laughing right now thinking, really Kristin, you are just figuring that out? But it is true, I have commitment issues. Heck, I can't even stay in the same city for more than two weekends.... but it might be time to buckle down because today... tomorrow, whatever this next little bit of time is called, I have to make more decisions big decisions.
What decisions will I make? What will I pick? Who will I pick? Where will I be in a month?
I have no idea.
Even worse, my mom and dad are not in a location that I can make them decide for me.
P.S. If this is too cryptic, just text or call and I'd be happy to tell you all. But I figure some things are not meant for the World Wide Web. XOXO