Monday, February 28, 2011

Plastic Smiles....

Have you ever wondered what the world would be like if we actually always acted how we felt rather than put on the appropriate face? I want to think we would all have tougher skins.... I want to think we would all be more aware of how we affect people. I want to think it would make the world a better place. When someone makes me feel wonderful I feel like because of the fake world in which we live... no matter how much I try to express my gratitude it's possible they can think it is insincere. But it goes the opposite way as well.... when someone does something that makes me cry... they never know. It's not til I walk away, not til I'm alone that I allow my true feelings to show. I want to believe that we still do live in a genuine world where he would feel bad if he knew how he made me feel.
So what would happen if we got rid of our plastic smiles and actually let our true feelings show? Would we regret it?

Friday, February 25, 2011

Why I Love My Job

Ya know, there have been many times when I have referred to my job as my "Golden Handcuffs"... This morning with a smile on my face I realized I absolutely love my job. (It's clearly easy to love teaching when you have a great student teacher...) But I think I love my job for more reasons than the fact that yesterday I taught two hour long spin classes for a PE teacher that had a sub. Why do I love my job? The wonderful people I get to work with.

- Every day a teacher brings me a thermos filled with tea I lovely refer to as "Witches Brew" because the tea is based off my health, if I'm sick it has more of this, if I am sore it has more of that. How Kind.
- This morning another teacher walked in with a necklace that she made for me because every time I see her wearing a similar necklace I compliment her.
- A few moments later this morning I heard "Miss Parson will you please come to the front office." The secratary, also a hairstylist, had brought in a special deep conditioner to put on my fried hair.
- The time the cute administrative secretary that's in charge of substitute came running to my classroom before school one morning, "Kristin!!!! I found your husband!!! He's subbing in Mr. Math's room." (When I peaked in the math teachers room, it was someone I already know...bummer)
- The basketball coach, a father figure in my life, came up to me yesterday, "Kristin, I really like your new hair color. You are beautiful."
- There was an administrative intern visiting our school yesterday, a whole group of students came searching for me after school, "Miss Parson, have you seen that babe walking around with the principal??? You need to go meet him!" (Yes, I already knew him, and he's married.)
-The teacher that offered to help me move so she drove her suburban down to Provo to pick up my bed and take it up to Sandy.

It seems that every where I turn in my school there is another kind person that is so wonderful to me. So maybe tody is the day I have to stop refering my job as my golden handcuffs and have to start calling it a blessing.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Well, at least I'm not the only one

Find the article here: Where have all the good men gone?





When my friend Donald showed me this article he said, "Well it looks like it's not only Provo that's stuck in Never Never Land."

Friday, February 18, 2011

Chasing Rainbows

This morning on my run I heard one of my favorite songs by No Use for a Name called Chasing Rainbows. The key line of the song is, "All I want to do is make sure you stop chasing rainbows." This got me thinking. Is chasing rainbows a bad thing? Clearly a rainbow is a dream that can never come true. At what point of a dream do we wake up and realize it isn't a dream we've been chasing, it's just a rainbow. All day I have been working on a dream. I have finished what I can do to work on the dream. Now I am just sitting and waiting. Part of me wonders.... what if my dream really was just a rainbow? What if I put in all the work and effort just to discover that there is nothing at the end? Is there any point chasing after rainbows?

But then I thought about one of the saddest quotes I have ever heard. When Will Rogers, an entertainer during the Great Depression, was asked what the meaning of life was he said,

The whole thing [life] is a 'Racket', so get a few laughs, do the best you can, take nothing serious, for nothing is certainly depending on this generation. Each one lives in spite of the previous one and not because of it. And don't have an ideal to work for. That's like riding towards a Mirage of a lake. When you get there, it ain't there.


Why do I dream big? Because even if it is a rainbow that I am chasing, at least I'm headed in the right direction.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I promise they aren't paying me...

So I decided to take my favorite lil Zoe out to late lunch for V-Day. I say lil Zoe because she is almost 16 and still doesn't weigh 100 pounds.... oh what would it be like? Anyways I just adore this girl. So of course I took her to my favorite place, La Jolla Grove.




The Rolls.
Caprese Salad
(My first time with this salad. I could not. get. enough.)
Yes I practically licked the plate.
The Salmon.
The Shrimp Pasta
The Lemon Tiramisu
Yes, practically licked it clean again.

Literally I feel like we had a bit of heaven.



Um. Maybe I found my new calling in life... taking pictures of food? Talk about heaven!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Positive Attitude.

I can't be a hater today.... no matter how hard I try! I tried to listen to hater music. I tried to wear all black. I tried to be not smile... but I couldn't help but put on a cute pink sweater with gold and pearls, listen to a mixed cd I found titled "You + Me = Us", and giggle.... why?


Because I've already been given TWO of these!



Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Change

"Change is harder than what is comfortable. Even from worst to better."


My wise cousin put this saying in her blog this morning. And it was exactly what I needed tonight. I've been finishing packing. Yes, I'm moving. I'm leaving the comfort of the Utah Valley Bubble. I'm leaving the comfort of my own bathroom, walk in closet, and garage...I'm giving up my status as an actual hardcore at the gym... I'm giving up my awesome bike rides, Y hikes, and glorious days at Sevenpeaks... but I am hoping I'm giving up something comfortable for something better. I know, I know, I am kinda being a baby. I am only moving 32 miles. And it is pretty pathetic that I am comparing it to Shopgirl closing the Shop Around the Corner.... but ya know as I sit here in my empty bed room, I can't help but feel a bit melancholy. I almost feel like Wendy the night before she leaves the nursery to grow up. Growing up is a hard thing, even when it is for the better... There is something just so comfortable about the nursery. But as my friend said the other night, "Kristin, don't worry, if you don't like it up there, you know you can return to our ward and about 75% of the people that were in the ward even before you were will still be here! It will be like you never left." It's pathetic how comforting that thought was! And yes I did just compare my ward to a nursery.... but I guess that's better than Pleasure Island. But anyways for a moment, I just want to be sad about it. So let's watch the clip from You've Got Mail.

But as to why I am leaving Provo.... my friend now living in New York came up with a poem to say the major problem with Provo best. Oh just hearing the poem makes me happy.

Provo is a pit of
pitiful pretties
who forget they are
Princesses
because of
pompous pretentious punks

Monday, February 7, 2011

Heartbroken.

I am totally and utterly heartbroken right now. For lots of reasons really, but one reason... I just found out on facebook that my morning crush has a she.......and they are having an it...............
You can join in on the stalking.
you can find him here. and her here.
The perfect blogging/radio couple.
I hate my life.
(kidding, kidding)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Here's to Valentines Day....

Music. It is such a great thing. A while ago I spent a few hours going through "someone's" entire itunes collection. Listening to, talking about, remembering with every scroll of the screen. It is shocking how emotional it is to go through that amount of music. It seems that each and every memory of life has a song attached to it. A soul mate of mine once said that he thinks life cuts through me deeper than most, making the highs higher and the lows lowers. Listening to each song was like watching my life's version of (500) Days of Summer. Listening to all those songs put me high as a kite one moment and in the fetal position begging for Schnuckums the next.

Well involvement with that "someone" that we all thought ended here clearly didn't end there. It ended tonight. So instead Donald and I went to dinner tonight. He was puzzled with why I was so sad. He knew that ended involvement was completely inevitable. Even the "someone" recognized we weren't going to work because he said I will never accept him and the things he does. So Donald couldn't figure out why I was sad. "Kristin it isn't like you thought you were going to marry the guy. Why are you bummed?" I think were Donald's exact words... Anyways with Donals's questioning I had to wonder, why was I so bummed? I think it has to do with why anyone that has ever been through the roller coaster of a relationship feels so much emotion when they watch (500) Days of Summer. I think any time a relationship ends it brings back similar past emotions. The sense of failure, the sense of rejection, the disappointment...It also didn't help that that "someone" stated that if I don't start giving guys a chance I am going to end up an old maid with lots of cats!... how rude.J

(Yes, he does know about this blog and used to read it...)

Anyways so with Valentine's around the corner I thought I'd do my Ode to Valentine's Day with my top 5 most ridiculous love lyrics of all time. I thought of this idea when I heard the number 5 song on the radio the other day.... talk about ridiculous lyrics. From the pathetically desperate, to the number one lyrics that is just so illogical it must be coming from a girl.

5. I’d catch a grenade for ya, Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, You know I'd do anything for ya.
Grenade - Bruno Mars

4. The things you make me wanna do, I'd rob a quick-e-mart for you, I'd go to the pound and let all the cats go free, Just as long as you'd be with me.
I Won't Spend Another Night Alone - The Ataris

3. But I guess that I can live without you but without you I'll be miserable at best.
Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade

2. You could slit my throat and with my one last gasping breath I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.
You’re so last summer – Taking Back Sunday

1. I'd rather be lonely then happy with somebody else.
Love me or Leave Me – Billie Holiday


But nothing says happy Valentines day like a scene from (500) Days of Summer....Here is poor Tom... Great editing but worthless song. Here's to another Valentine's Day!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Back in the Saddle Again

Well it's done. The thing that caused this dream and this rejection and ultimately led to this crisis... I did it. I threw my hat back into that ring again. Hopefully with a better, clearer perspective this time. Do I think I have a better shot this go around? Probably not, so why am I doing it? Because sometimes no matter how much it hurts you got to just get back on that horse so He knows you aren't afraid to try.


I hate to post this quote because this president ruined our country... But it's a fabulous quote and I want to believe he didn't even come up with it, so I am not even going to give him credit.


It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points how how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; Because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worth cause, who at the best knows the end of the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.


And hey look at the bright side.... it is -18 degrees there as we speak. I would be NUTZ to want to move there!