Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

When thinking about my favorite song of all time, there are many songs that come to mind. Most of them bring back wonderful memories of people and places that have added so much joy to my life. But there is one song that stands out above all the rest that brings a pleasure to my life like none other.

I find myself listening to this song over and over lately. There are so many different versions, each adding a little variety but even with change the message of the song always comes out so clear. Somewhere over that rainbow there is the fairy tale I dream of. Some people could find this song depressing because if you are dreaming of that fairy tale that means you aren’t currently living it. But the whole message of the song is talking about the hope of what could possibly happen on the other side of the rainbow.

I just had my 27th birthday. Now if someone would have asked me at 17 where I would be in ten years, my current situation sadly was probably my worst fear. Just like every time I start a new journal, each birthday adds a bit of depression because I am reminded that I am still in the same situation of life as I was 10 years previous. Sure, I have moved locations but really my life hasn’t changed that much since I was 17.

But one of my favorite TV shows affected me this week. The main character was handed a rotten deal and when she started to complain about it someone advised her to be like a Who in Whoville. When the Grinch stole their presents on Christmas morning they didn’t cry about it, they went outside and sang carols together. So this birthday rather than crying out that I’ve been robbed, that this isn’t where my life is supposed to be at 27, I’m going to sing. Because someday, sometime I’m destined to see the other side of that rainbow.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Beauty and the Beast

The beloved fairytale of Beauty and the Beast is a classic that is cherished and adored by many. But as I was listening to these lyrics this morning on my run,
“There’s something sweet and almost kind, but he was mean and he was course and unrefined”
Got me thinking about a discussion I had a few nights ago with a great guy.

When discussing a guy I am interested in, he said, “It figures. Of course he’s a bad boy. I feel like to get a girl you have to have some type of problem. I need a kid or a pot addiction. It seems that guys with some type of baggage always get the girls while us good guys get left in the dust.” Now this guy has no problems getting girls, at lunch on Saturday a group of girls all concluded that he is the most desired guy in the ward. When he made this comment I even said, “Are you kidding? You are my dream guy, I’d totally date you.”… but obviously he doesn’t want the same.

Now although I don’t think this guy has a problem getting girls I think there is a bit of truth in his thought. Beauty and the Beast is the classic example of the age old question why do girls tend to go for the fixer upper?

I have concluded there are three main reasons.

The obvious answer that many turn to when considering this question is: girls like the bad boys. There is something about being edgy that makes a man more appealing. Call it the chase, call it natural instinct, Anne Shirley illustrates this tendency when she criticizes her best friend’s future husband by calling him extremely good. Marilla, her not-so-with-it step-mom says, “Isn’t that what he should be? Would you want to marry a wicked man?” And Anne’s classic response is, “I’d like it if he could be wicked but wouldn’t.” Marilla says, “You’ll have sense some day, I hope” But sadly Marilla, most girls don’t acquire that sense until they get burned, even then some don’t learn.

The second reason almost just as obvious is the idea that girls like to save things. There is a satisfaction with taking something that is broken and fixing it. Enough said.

These two reasons are discussed often enough that I don’t want to bore you with this. I want to possibly shed new light on this age old question. I think that often times girls are attracted to “fixer uppers” because of innate insecurities. Maybe it is because I am stuck in awkward junior high or maybe it is because I feel these insecurities but I am blown away with the lack of self worth that many girls feel. I am blown away with the skewed negative perceptions many beautiful, talented, and amazing girls have. Because of this skewed perception many girls go after inferior guys thinking that is all they can get. Now I am not trying to argue that insecurity is a challenge just faced by females but I am suggesting that girls respond to this insecurity by going for inferior mates. I think of how much more common it is to see girls with inferior guys compared to guys with inferior girls.(Hitch is the perfect example) I use a vague word like inferior because I think there are many negative attributes that girls settle with. So maybe my friend was right, maybe it would be better if he had some imperfection that would make girls think they could have a chance with him.

After considering this disturbing trend I am forced to question is Beauty and the Beast really a fairy tale or is it teaching beautiful, amazing, and talented young girls that they should settle with mean, course beasts?

*** Please note I am not crazy, I am obviously being dramatic to emphasize a point. Of course my kids will watch Beauty and the Beast.