The beloved fairytale of Beauty and the Beast is a classic that is cherished and adored by many. But as I was listening to these lyrics this morning on my run,
“There’s something sweet and almost kind, but he was mean and he was course and unrefined”
Got me thinking about a discussion I had a few nights ago with a great guy.
When discussing a guy I am interested in, he said, “It figures. Of course he’s a bad boy. I feel like to get a girl you have to have some type of problem. I need a kid or a pot addiction. It seems that guys with some type of baggage always get the girls while us good guys get left in the dust.” Now this guy has no problems getting girls, at lunch on Saturday a group of girls all concluded that he is the most desired guy in the ward. When he made this comment I even said, “Are you kidding? You are my dream guy, I’d totally date you.”… but obviously he doesn’t want the same.
Now although I don’t think this guy has a problem getting girls I think there is a bit of truth in his thought. Beauty and the Beast is the classic example of the age old question why do girls tend to go for the fixer upper?
I have concluded there are three main reasons.
The obvious answer that many turn to when considering this question is: girls like the bad boys. There is something about being edgy that makes a man more appealing. Call it the chase, call it natural instinct, Anne Shirley illustrates this tendency when she criticizes her best friend’s future husband by calling him extremely good. Marilla, her not-so-with-it step-mom says, “Isn’t that what he should be? Would you want to marry a wicked man?” And Anne’s classic response is, “I’d like it if he could be wicked but wouldn’t.” Marilla says, “You’ll have sense some day, I hope” But sadly Marilla, most girls don’t acquire that sense until they get burned, even then some don’t learn.
The second reason almost just as obvious is the idea that girls like to save things. There is a satisfaction with taking something that is broken and fixing it. Enough said.
These two reasons are discussed often enough that I don’t want to bore you with this. I want to possibly shed new light on this age old question. I think that often times girls are attracted to “fixer uppers” because of innate insecurities. Maybe it is because I am stuck in awkward junior high or maybe it is because I feel these insecurities but I am blown away with the lack of self worth that many girls feel. I am blown away with the skewed negative perceptions many beautiful, talented, and amazing girls have. Because of this skewed perception many girls go after inferior guys thinking that is all they can get. Now I am not trying to argue that insecurity is a challenge just faced by females but I am suggesting that girls respond to this insecurity by going for inferior mates. I think of how much more common it is to see girls with inferior guys compared to guys with inferior girls.(Hitch is the perfect example) I use a vague word like inferior because I think there are many negative attributes that girls settle with. So maybe my friend was right, maybe it would be better if he had some imperfection that would make girls think they could have a chance with him.
After considering this disturbing trend I am forced to question is Beauty and the Beast really a fairy tale or is it teaching beautiful, amazing, and talented young girls that they should settle with mean, course beasts?
*** Please note I am not crazy, I am obviously being dramatic to emphasize a point. Of course my kids will watch Beauty and the Beast.
